I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize