Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
