i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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