I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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