A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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