32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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