it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
