It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
