just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
