WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
