He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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