This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
