i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
