coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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