Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?

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(305): View more from Florida

I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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(816): View more from Missouri

FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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(304): View more from West Virginia

tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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(510): View more from California

stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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(315): View more from New York

My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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(254): View more from Texas

Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!

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(618): View more from Illinois

When have you ever know me to go too far?

(270): View more from Kentucky

Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?

(618): View more from Illinois

Yeah. Besides those.

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