I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize