I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
