Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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