"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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