i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
