Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
