Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I AM VODKA MAN
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
