i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
