O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
