"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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