dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
