So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
