I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The Olympian is in my bed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
