I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
