Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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