You work out of a Hotel?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
