Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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