i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
