i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Randomize
