i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
