From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
