This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
