Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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