I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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