yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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