Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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