butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize