We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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