Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
