i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
