He uses pillows to masturbate.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
