my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
