When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
