I didn't shave. On purpose
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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