I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
