Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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