I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
