let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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