I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
