sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
