Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
