we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My breasts were aching with rage.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
