not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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