Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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