I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
