You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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