there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
