Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
